I FEAR NO HARDSHIP

“He who knows no hardships will know no hardihood. He who faces no calamity will need no courage. Mysterious though it is, the characteristics in human nature which we love best grow in a soil with a strong mixture of troubles.”

Wait. The tone of the quote above might sound different that which might leave wrong message about me. But anyway, it is an advising mechanism that we all Political Science Dungganan can get after all these unexpected events confronting into our lives. This will be all about the first month of second semester year 2011 that we all live in infamy.

The whole story is too complicated to share, too long to write, and too difficult to understand. But perhaps the effect of this greatest problem or one of the greatest problems I had might lead a picture on how we [Pol. Sci. Batch Dungganan] surpassed and continuously surpass this great challenge.

I know that clashing against the ‘highest ranking professor in the University of the Philippines’, as what that Professor consider himself is very difficult or dangerous so to speak. However, this is nothing when I come to think of being in the right path and being on the side of justice and truth. If he thought of his right being violated, a right which we cannot readily identify, well, I firmly believe that the damage that he claimed is incomparable to the wounds that I personally feel. I come to think over that after all, it is us against them. It is me personally, or we the 3^rd year Political Science majors against the whole Division of Humanities faculty and staffs.

Well I guess we are all united. I presumed each of us had the meeting of the minds regarding the ‘unintentional movement’ that we eventually created. Unintentional for nothing was never planned against Professor “he who must not be named”. Moreover, it lately turned to be a movement for us to protect our names after all the drama that spread from him tagging us as grade oriented, coward, and more that is demeaning to his personality making him more of being unprofessional.

I know that some of my close friends who are of my co-party to the problem badly-behaved along the way at the peak of our campus prominence. I just listen…and listen. I’d rather be silent. I believe my silence will somehow make them regret their words. So far, I felt happy that they continue to ride with us in this difficult journey. One of them told me that if only we can ‘undo’ what we have done.

I cannot directly pinpoint if there are some of us who have this connivance with some other secondary actors in this issue that fuels the strength of our newly turned opponent in this fight. I know that they are encroached of their selfish interests. Academic interests perhaps like designing their image to be neutral so as to gain praise from some other secondary actors of this issue. With this I felt disappointed. I felt being betrayed from the struggle that I eventually organize after my name being mentioned inside one of the classes handled by that Professor. It really affected me a lot after I recall this statement which is famous to my friends that “It takes time to rebuild an image”. Another friend of mine texted me about this with the details about my name assassinated in the eyes of some students in the campus. With this I felt the shame, the isolation, and it made me more often go with the flock of my Pol.Sci.mates. I feared to be the subject of some students gathering along the hallway and lobby. But all these internal troubles eventually wiped out in my imagination. The key is simply to be courageous and be a fighter.

For these past few days, I happened to have almost a close contact with the secretary of that Professor when I almost twisted the door upon entering the faculty when she eventually opened it from inside. I can’t forget this stern looks from her when she glimpsed to see my face. At first, I got upset but lately had thought how funny she reacted and designed her strict emotions against me which in fact she is not a party to the issue; neither has she known the whole story nor the sentiments from our side. What she had is this brainwashed mind to hate us and this myopic understanding of what problem we had against that Professor who is her boss.

Before I usually greet and smile to one of their young faculty which was once my instructor, but now I felt the awkwardness with her head bowed whenever we happened to cross our path. Also, just lately when I was on my way home, I walked along the street across where that Professor who must not be named stood together with some of his cohorts. I heard this heavy laugh from him and that I registered to my mind his weirdness.

One of my instructors this semester keeps on asking me about this matter. Something which I cannot disclose the details. Perhaps the best thing is to smile and show how this problem affected me. It is just some sort of a way to let them stop asking from me about it. And so it is effective. Moreover, I feared also that another one of my instructors this semester will see this as a disappointment towards me. Well, I don’t care. It’s all the more challenging. As what I recall together with my friends in high school, we had this motto that: “I fear no hardship”.

So long as we stand on our right. So long as we fight against immaturities that the other people tagged us. So long as the conscience drilling into my classmates who MIGHT have betrayed us, there remains the hope of getting over this situation, then after all, we laugh and say “I’m fine. There is nothing wrong, thank you”.